Another interesting article ...surely the person who wrote it has been very generalizing of people....but a pretty close to relate one I'd say...
in Relationship Strategies, What Guys Want
My 20 tough love reasons for why you don’t have a boyfriend:
1. You’re needy. You met him last weekend, he texted
a few times, and now you just won’t leave the guy alone. You went from 0
to 60 in a few days. You’re already planning for next weekend. This is
probably the #1 behavior that gets girls labeled
psycho in the early days.
2. You like players. You say you want a nice guy,
but you fall for the same lines again and again. You can’t resist the
bad boys, the ones who have dumped on other women. You think that you
will be different, that nabbing a player will validate your feminine
powers. But the player always wins, because the player always walks.
3. You’re a princess. You want a man who will
proclaim to the world that he is whipped as butter. He will worship the
very ground you walk on. Trouble is, the only men who will happily
inhabit a one-down position in a relationship have no balls. Do you
really want a guy who will eagerly go to a bunch of chick flicks with
you? Wouldn’t you rather accompany him to Transformers from time to
time?
4. You flirt too much. Flirting is an essential
skill in any woman’s toolkit. It is meant to indicate to a guy that you
are singling him out for special attention because you are attracted to
him. If you flirt like crazy with every Y chromosome you encounter, it
loses its effectiveness, and makes you seem “not very choosy.” Also, if
you are spending time with a guy but can’t stand the idea of hiding your
light under a bushel, he is not going to appreciate your flirting with
other men. It makes him look and feel less manly, and awakens unwelcome
feelings of jealousy.
5. You’re not in the game. If you’re shy, reserved,
or aloof, you are not approachable. Many beautiful women are ignored by
guys because the odds of rejection are too high. You also telegraph
likely rejection if you hold back. If you find a guy attractive, meet
him halfway by signaling your interest with eye contact and a smile. If
you know him, pay him some attention.
6. You’re too picky. You want a guy who is
well-educated, financially successful, handsome, funny, witty, generous,
blah blah blah. You want a 10. Get realistic. How about well-educated,
funny and generous? Or handsome and witty, but a poet, i.e. broke?
Perhaps financially successful, generous and fun to be with, but never
went to college? Keep an open mind when you’re sizing up men. Allow
yourself to find the good.
7. You’re a Girl Gone Wild. Stop dancing on
tabletops when you’re drunk. In fact, stop getting drunk. Drunk is ugly.
No one, male or female, ever became more attractive when they got drunk
(beer goggles just fool you into thinking they did). When you are
drunk, you say and do foolish things. Step away from the beer pong
table. If you wouldn’t do it sober…then you really don’t want to do it
at all.
8. You’re ditzy. I once knew a very smart woman who
exclaimed at a frat party that she thought Mt. Rushmore was a natural
phenomenon. I don’t know why some women love to get all girly and
giggly. I suppose it makes them feel sexier, a la Marilyn Monroe. If
you’re with a guy who wants his women stupid, you need a new guy. Lose
the simpering act.
9. You’re a Mean Girl. Seriously, stop being a
bitch. I’ve heard guys speak in awe (and fear) of mean girls, but Chuck
Bass is the only guy I’ve ever seen who really wanted to love one, and
he’s fictitious. Sometimes, guys want to get with mean girls because
they’re powerful, but that relationship isn’t about love.
10. You’re high maintenance. You always feel
slighted. He’s always saying and doing the wrong thing. Your feelings
are constantly hurt, and he is constantly apologizing. Fighting all the
time can be rewarding in the short-term, because it amps up the sexual
tension for makeup sex, but ultimately it’s a total boner-killer.
11. You’re aggressive. You act like one of the guys.
You pursue, make moves, call the shots. You say that you’re a liberated
woman, so you can grab whatever cock grabs your fancy. That will get
you laid, but try to remember that it’s the male of the species that got
the big dose of testosterone. That male is biologically programmed to
seek his complementary opposite – which includes a much larger dose of
estrogen. You can be strong, independent, and very, very female.
12. You’re self-absorbed. You talk about yourself
all the time. You talk about your ex all the time. You cry on his
shoulder all the time when you don’t get what you want. You’re not
really giving. You’re not emotionally engaged in a caring and generous
way. If you’re not curious about him; if you are not hungry for details
about who he is and what he’s into, then maybe he’s the wrong guy. Or
maybe you’re the wrong girl.
13. You’re a homebody. You’re not out there meeting
new people every day. You are not going through each day looking to
interact with and smile at attractive and approachable people. And by
the way, get off the cell phone. The adorable guy behind you in line at
Starbucks can’t say hi if you’re on your phone, plus he’s hearing you
sound like a complete idiot with your BFF.
14. You’re too hard to get. Yes, everyone likes a
challenge. No one likes eager or desperate. But employing “The Rules” or
some other silly tactic is just going to leave you solo. If he asks you
out spontaneously for tonight, that’s a real invitation. If you are
interested, accept. A guy’s suggesting a plan on the spur of the moment
is not him treating you badly. It’s him expressing an interest in
spending time with you. (Obviously, do the opposite of what I say here
if it’s a booty call situation.)
15. Your number is too high. OK, fine, you don’t
want any guy who cares about how many people you’ve slept with. Problem
is….that’s most guys. You don’t have to tell anyone your personal data.
Just be aware that when you’re making the rounds within a certain
community or group of friends, word gets out fast. I don’t think there
has ever, ever been a guy who got laid and didn’t tell anyone about it
afterwards. If your number is high and that fact is well known, you have
every right to find a new pack of males and
revirginate reinvent yourself.
16. You’re flaky. A plan is a commitment. Don’t blow
someone off when something better comes along. Don’t ditch him because
your friend “really needs you.” Don’t double book yourself. Don’t be
late. Don’t get drunk and not show. Women constantly complain that men
aren’t reliable, but I’ve seen plenty of women flake out on guys.
17. You’re materialistic. You know what? The best
dates are cheap dates. In fact, I think the best dates I ever had were
actually free dates. Cooking together. Hanging out. Taking a long walk. I
met my husband in graduate school, and he was dead broke. He was paying
his own way and had very little money. We’d only been together a month
or so when my birthday rolled around. He gave me very inexpensive fun
earrings, but what I remember is the card he made. All it said on it
was: Head Over Heels. That was the best birthday gift ever.
18. You’re scared. You’ve been burned before. You
are understandably wary. This leads you to be withholding. He puts it
out there, lays it on the line, and you just can’t reciprocate. You
really like him, but you just don’t want to get hurt again. This means
he knows up front that he will be the one to get hurt. No guy will stick
around to watch that happen. You’ve got to find a way forward. There is
no love for any of us without considerable risk, so do what you need to
do to work through it.
19. You’re rigid. You have plans for Saturday night,
but his buddies are going to a game that night, would Friday be OK? You
say, “No, you made plans with me first. And Saturday is date night.” He
picks you up and mentions that one of his friends and his gf will be
joining the two of you for dinner, if that’s OK. It’s not. You’re miffed
that you two won’t be having a night alone. He wants to go to the
party, you don’t. You grudgingly agree to go and stay for an hour. After
an hour, you want to leave, he’s having a great time. You let him know
that an hour’s up and it’s time to leave RIGHT NOW. Being rigid is
largely about asserting control. That’s never a winning relationship
tactic.
20. You’re a pushover. You put up with all kinds of
crap. You allow yourself to be booty called and stood up. You allow him
to tease you in a not-affectionate way (comments about your weight come
to mind). You allow him to pick fights, and then forgive him for
flirting or hooking up with another girl in the two hours you were
broken up. If you do not respect yourself, he certainly isn’t going to
respect you, and your value in his eyes will tank.
